I recently spoke with a couple who described their relationship with money as a “binge-restrict cycle.” They would go through periods of being extremely frugal, followed by significant spending sprees.
Boy, did this take me back! Let’s go back in time together.
We were in our 20’s. We had a mortgage, credit card debt, and two car payments. We were living paycheck-to-paycheck and the debt had become overwhelming. So, we decided to tackle it head-on.
We started budgeting and made a plan to become debt-free. We took on second jobs (now known as side hustles, which sounds much cooler 😉). For motivation, we posted our debts on the refrigerator door.
We worked all the time and barely saw each other. We paid off a debt, marked it off the list, did the happy dance, and then got back to the work of paying off more debt.
We didn’t do anything fun. We worked all the time. Then, when we did have time off together we would go shopping.
We made BIG purchases.
0% for 24 months? Sure!
No interest for four years? Sounds great!
We justified it with, “We work so hard. We deserve this.”
Then we’d come home, add the new debt to the fridge list, and start the cycle all over again.
It felt like every time we would wipe one payment out, we would replace it with another (or two)!
Spending felt so good until it didn’t. Almost immediately, we felt regret and shame.
We had been working so hard to get out of debt and then on a whim, we added more debt.
Our progress was erased with a signature on a credit application.
It felt so defeating and led us to completely stop working on our finances for long periods. Then, we’d get frustrated with our finances again and restart the process. Rinse and repeat.
This cycle continued for OVER A DECADE. We failed with money for over ten years. It’s hard to admit, but I know we’re not alone. I’ve talked to hundreds of people who’ve lived this way for far too long.
Looking back, I can see where we went wrong.
Our plan wasn’t realistic.
We kept adding more debt.
We got tired of working all the time and not living the life we wanted.
Our approach was supposed to be short-term, not a way of life. But by continuing to accumulate debt, working constantly became our norm. Yuck!
You might think our approach was foolish, and I get that. But when you’re in the thick of trying to fix your finances, it’s hard to see the flaws in your plan or spending habits.
This is where working with a financial coach can help you clarify issues you might not see for yourself and navigate them more quickly than you would on your own.
You don’t have to spend over a decade trying to change your finances. Reach out if you need help.
P.S. In case you’re wondering, we finally changed our money habits and achieved our goals. We’ve been living what I coach for over 15 years now. I don’t just talk about financial transformation, I live it.
